The way that's it's raining right now is kind of nuts. One minute it's a sunny day, next minute it's all gray out, next minute it's sunny again and then out of nowhere it's pouring cats and dogs. Who came up with the saying "raining cats and dogs" anyway? Lol that was random. Thought about it after I wrote it. Reason I brought up the rain is because it doesn't usually just start pouring out of nowhere like that. Not often anyway. I know down south they get those torrential downpours but up until recently that wasn't something we saw often in New England. It make me think about things going from sunny to rainy in the blink of an eye and vice versa. Things happen quick hence the term "life comes at you fast." Is it circumstances that determine what our mood is? Does it matter how you think about a situation or will it just be what it is regardless? It seems like the sky can do whatever it wants and is just showing off giving us gallons of rain and then sunshine...or maybe it's just bi polar lol but I wish that I could control the way I felt like the sky can sometimes. Being able to decide sunny or rainy or whatever and then being able to just be that would be cool. Now I'm a believer that your perspective can determine your attitude and I'm the type of person to think about situations from a lot of different angles but I'm still trying to master making my mind completely follow what I know I should feel vs what I'm actually feeling. You know how it is. More often times than not we know what it is we should be feeling or how we should be looking at something but it's easier said than done and we spend a bunch of time trying to get our mind to completely buy into what we feel we're supposed to be doing. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense. I'm used to that too lol. Making sense to myself and not being sure if others get it. I'm comfortable with that though. Being misunderstood isn't a big deal to me. Now I'm getting off topic and I'm sorry but as an example of what I was saying, I wish that I was as comfortable with most things as I am with being misunderstood. That's probably a different subject for another day. Anyhow, the point is that I sometimes wish that it was easier to feel or not feel things I know I should or shouldn't such as happiness, anxiety or depression. I understand that you have to have balance so to feel happy everyday is unrealistic anyway but experiencing happy times when you don't have joy is very very difficult because once that happiness feeling is over you're only left with one thing and I've experienced times where I was constantly chasing highs of happiness because I knew how it was gonna feel when it was over. If you don't have any joy or if you've ever lost your joy then you know what I mean. I'm out there listening to comedy on radio, watching specials on Netflix, doing anything to make myself laugh or smile...and I mean anything, because the feeling of emptiness when that was over was like a tidal wave of sorrow. I'm not sure that I'm really ready to continue talking about that but I wish that managing feelings was as easy as it seems the sky goes from rainy to sunny.
It's hump day. Hump day seems over hyped lol. It's cool that the week is just about over but it ain't Friday so it's still time to work...it's time for me to work even if it is Friday but you get it. Do people still eat spaghetti every Wednesday? Am I making that up? I feel like once upon a time, Wednesday was Prince spaghetti day or something like that. Don't get me to lying lol I could've sworn that was the case when I was a kid though. That just made me think of things I refused to eat as a kid. I will forever remember this. One time when I was in kindergarten, they gave us tuna fish on hamburger buns for lunch and I would not eat it and I was so hungry lol. They wouldn't let me get up and have recess until I ate and I sat there the whole recess period. It just looked super gross (and still does). Then I went home and we had tuna fish for dinner...BRUH!!! My parents didn't play about food so unless we were allergic, you eat what's made and that's that (now I definitely understand since I'm the one buying food and such lol). I wasn't eating it though. I wasn't touching it. I wasn't even going to breathe in the smell of it. Tuna fish looks and smells like cat vomit to me. Let's argue lolol!! So I sat there for over an hour and my Dad came in asked why I hadn't eaten my food and I told him I didn't want it. He told me to eat it anyway and I...did...not...budge. So he's telling me to eat and I'm basically ignoring him and "standing my ground." Anyone who knows my Dad knows that was a no-no lol. Do NOT ignore him when he's talking to you. Long story short, I took a beating over that tuna fish...but nigga I didn't eat it doe!!! Hahahaha!!!! I lost that one but I still didn't even pick up the sandwich. To this day I've never eaten it. Maybe it tastes good but I'll never know. Plus as I got older I became allergic to fish and shell fish so it's definitely not going down. Either way, I'd never ever ever ever ever even try it. They say to never say never but fam, I'm saying never LOL!!!
I want to talk trash about my job real quick but I'm gonna wait until my time is up there and I'm secure somewhere else lol. Just like the tee says, I'm gonna stay classy Ron Burgundy style. Anchorman is in my top 25 favorite movies of all time. I was excited that they made an Anchorman 2 and I thought it cool for what it was but it couldn't live up to the first one. Anchorman is just a classic, does not need a sequel type of movie...like Coming to America smh. I'm not saying it won't work, I'm saying it's not necessary.
Let's ride into Thursday like a boss and by that I don't mean in the slang phrase way. I mean literally like your boss. On time and ready to work hahaha!
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