Another day, another sinus headache. Today just wasn't gonna be perfect right from the start man. One of those more questions than answers type of mornings. I tried to take a nap at some point and it was one of those where it feels like somebody was punching your face in. Not ideal lol. Could be worse though. I'm gonna have to get some good sinus meds because this right here ain't it.
It's Tuesday and I didn't even have any tacos. Wait... I'm lying lol. I tried a taco from Burger King and before you start staring at your screen with those judgmental eyes just hear me out...it cost a dollar LOL. I figured, you know it's a buck, what could possibly go wrong? The answer was everything. Everything went wrong hahahahaha! Now I wasn't expecting lights and show ponies from a taco from Burger King and honestly I knew better than to expect anything. I hoping to be pleasantly surprised but it tasted like actual garbage. I've never felt homeless eating something that I bought but I may as well had gone into BK's dumpster and made the exact same thing. Shout out to the lady at the drive thru window because she also did her best to quell ANY expectation lol. Just to give you a good idea of the awfulness, I had zero expectations and was STILL disappointed (7 laughing emojis). The shell was supposed to be hard and was just stale. The meat was like Whopper meat. The lettuce was also sandwich lettuce. It tasted like a burger on a stale shell. Bad, just bad lol. Who else could find a terrible way to make a Whopper? Jesus man, it was so awful, I only took 3 bites and the last 2 were courtesy bites because I really didn't wanna believe that it was that bad. Why would a burger place make good tacos right? Right. But at the same time, why would you add such a thing to your menu? If I didn't know any better I'd think they were trying to chase people off.
I'm not sure if I've actually been getting good sleep or rest when I do go to sleep. I really can't pinpoint what it is but I hate going to sleep really tired and waking up still really tired. It's gotta be all in my head though. I can't turn my mind off so it's like always racing. I'm constantly thinking about real problems, fake problems, things that could potentially happen good or bad and things that most likely won't happen. I think about things that happened throughout the course of the day and different ways they could've played out and if there was a better way to go about them and if there will be any fall out from what I did or didn't do. Like in movies how every action you take when you go back in time can cause a ripple that effects so many things you wouldn't have expected. If you watch that TV show "The Flash" then you know what I mean. So because of that, I often wonder why they never show ripple effects from the original decisions you make and similarly, why do I overthink the ripple effects of actions I take in real life. I'm a therapist's nightmare for sure man lol. I work with therapists and the thing that people forget is that they are human and they get mentally fatigued too. I was able to find a great therapist and definitely thank God for that but you know that there are times when you may see yours and they've had a rough day and want to go home and hope your session will maybe be easy or light and it's not. Now you're their last session of the day and inside, they don't even wanna be there. Not that, that occurs all the time, I'm saying that I think about it all the time. My therapist is awesome and I believe that even if he felt like that one of the days I went to see him, I wouldn't even be able to read that from him. Also, he always starts with prayer so obviously there's no better way to break the ice. The worry is just me overthinking like I said earlier. This is a constant problem I'm working on everyday but maybe not as much as I could. Kind of hard to explain too so hopefully I've done a halfway decent job at not sounding like a crazy person.
I don't have a lot more to say really. The tee I'm wearing today is just a representation of another of my daily mantras lol. Mind Over Matter (I said it lol) the use of will power to overcome physical problems. The unwillingness to give up and when my mind feels weak, faith helps me not to completely give up. I'm afraid of getting to a place where it becomes so much that I'm no good to anyone. That's my real fear (why am I saying this? Feeling brave I guess. I'm sure I'll regret it but it's out there now lol) I'd be lying if I said everything was all good, although I might tell you that because I don't want you in my business lol or because I'm not a complainer, but I'm glad that it doesn't have to be for me to have a positive perspective or to know some form of actual happiness.
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