What a day, what a day. I feel like I've earned my entire paycheck just from the amount of work I completed. You ever feel that 1230am tiredness at 2pm? That was me lol and since that wasn't quite challenging enough, Microsoft Outlook was/is down throughout the company so no emails today (yay!!) but most likely a bizillion tomorrow or whenever they fix it. Honestly my job uses email so much I'm surprised it's not already fixed. We must've hired the IT guys that didn't graduate with honors or something lol. Speaking of which, I was reading that capital one got their database hacked. I'm in good standing so I just need for somebody to not have messed with that hahaha!!. I wish someone would take on the role of modern day Robin Hood and wipe out bad credit, debt and college loans. They'd be considered a real hero by everyone. Imagine if that was your legacy. You could be the only "internet thief" that could legit have cause for a statue to be built in your honor... for the love of God, I hope I've inspired somebody to do this LOL!!! We'll come up with a dope hero name for you later. I never do things for people looking to get something back and I don't believe that anyone should unless they are agreed upon circumstances. I'm bringing this up because I wonder from time to time whether or not people actually like other humans or if they just want to appear to like other humans. Like, are you cool with doing good deeds and not getting any recognition for it or are you doing it just to be seen? Are there any legit friends out there? Can you do something solely out of the goodness of your heart or do you secretly use it as strings to be able to reel in at times most convenient for you? I hate to say it but I never assume that someone is being nice just to be nice but that's because of my experiences. Personally, I really don't look for anything from anybody 1) because I hate setting myself up to get disappointed, 2) I really don't mind helping people out and I usually try to treat people the same way that I would want to be treated. Would WANT to be treated. Not that it happens a lot lol. I'm just saying I do it with that energy, and 3) at the end if the day God rewards better than anyone else could so I do favors as unto the Lord the same way I give offerings in church. Not expecting back from the person but from God because He don't disappoint EVER. Even in that though, it can be a lonely and sometimes painful experience. You would like to believe that if you are lucky enough to have real friends that they would be on the level of thoughtfulness that you are. Notice I said thoughtfulness because everyone is on different levels financially so what's a sacrifice for one could be a drop in the bucket for another. My point is that it would make you feel good to know that you have what I like to call "TV show" type friends. The ones that plan things and actually do them or do nice things unprovoked. The ones that go out of their way when they don't have to for things that you many not even need but want or would love to have. It is me. I am that friend. Lol. I think the true meaning of squad is what Jay Z was saying in this song from Reasonable Doubt: Nobody will fall because everybody will be each other's crutches. That's everybody making sure everybody is good. Not just being concerned with their own affairs. I'm in my late 30s and all my friends are Dads and such so obviously no one is expecting each other to prioritize them over people's families. It's just knowing that someone got you. Like even if you gotta hit rock bottom they not gonna let you fall too far or by yourself. Some people will read this and feel like I'm being realistic and I'm sorry you feel that way but I understand why. Not everyone would even believe that this exists but I promise you it does and I hope that you get a chance to experience it. It's few and far in-between for sure but it's out there. My closest friends are my brothers and over the past year or so I've realized that I am so damaged that there are times when I feel like I can't trust them which is absolutely preposterous because we're literally "shirt off my back" close. After going through some of the things I have though, it's hard to shake that "always gotta watch your back" feeling. It's ever present man smh. Working to shake that off lol but anyway, this is actually one of the reasons why I was so into the Avengers as a young comic book reader. They were more than an organized group of super heroes fighting to rid the world of evil forces. They were a brotherhood (and a sisterhood. I got y'all ladies! Hahahaha!!!) of people who believed in their cause and in one another so strongly that they were willing to die for one another. Endgame reminded me of that. That scene where Hawkeye and Black Widow were fighting each other to try and die first so the other one could go back. Thats deep man. You would fight me for the opportunity for you to die and I could live? Only one other person I know that would lay His life down for His friends like that. Perhaps you've heard of Him... ok this just got real churchy LOL!!! I'm not trying to be that preached that takes EVERY word you say and relates it back to the Bible haha!! Or like the father in "My Big Fay Greek Wedding" that could trace every word in the English language back to something Greek lol. I keep getting off subject, I'm sorry. Hawkeye and Black Widow had a fight scene for the honor of one dying for the other. That's just a big deal to me man. That's real actual love. Thanos thought he was doing the universe a favor by killing his daughter to get the soul stone. He loved the thought of helping the universe more and that's cool I guess. But dawg... you want to be able to have somebody that would prioritize you over the universe...Selah. Dont let me catch anyone using this out of context either lol!!
I gotta go guys. I still have a lot to do but as always, I hope your week started out great and continues that way. If today sucked, I hope the rest of the week is awesome to make up for it and if the week sucks, you may need to look into adjusting your perspective (smiley face) Peace!!!
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