I hate when I'm forced to park far away in the parking lot of a place I'm going to. Ever been to Walmart or something on a Saturday? You know how it happens. You're riding around very slowly looking for a good spot. Then you get determined not to park far so you start waiting for people to leave the store and try and follow them to take their parking space if they parked close. They get in their car and take their time moving even though they know you're waiting so you move on and try to find someone else until you realize you low key are starting to look like a creeper. Who are these lucky people anyway? How early did they get up to get a front parking space at Walmart on a Saturday? Why does God like them so much better than you? Then you realize you're wasting your time and accept defeat and drive towards the end of the lot to park so you make the trek back to the entrance of the store. You park and darned if it's not magic but you begin to see open parking spaces the closer you get to the store. Should you go back to the car and move it? Nah, no reason to be tryna do too much right? You already parked. Might as well go into the store. Then you get to the very front of the parking lot and someone pulls out of one of the coveted front spaces smh. All that time you were looking and couldn't find anything and all of a sudden one opens up right in front of you now that you're parked and no longer in your car. Good grief! You run all the way back to your car and drive up to get that space and wouldn't you know it, someone pulls in JUST before you get there lol. That is today. That is what today is.
After a 2 week hiatus I'm finally back. I hadn't planned on not blogging for that long but after getting back from overseas, there were a number of things I've needed to do mostly at work that kept me from being able to do this like I would've wanted. I definitely didn't mind the break although I'd rather it be in reverse where I'm working less and writing more. Everyone needs their time though. Hopefully you all are doing well and are enjoying the tail end of summer. My European journey was at the very least an adventure lol. One I don't even want to get into right now but a good experience overall. So today's tee is yesterday's tee. Yesterday was Sunday and Sunday's I usually will do an original and this is no different. I know that I don't often talk about my music here (even though one of my songs are featured on this page lol) but this tee may be more about my love of Batman anyway. I created this silhouette picture of myself like almost 15 years ago and it became my very own Bat signal. At least, that's how I've always thought of it. Batman never had any powers (besides white privilege) but he was able to be thought of as a super hero on par with or greater than the likes of Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and Superman to name a few. He used what he had to be able to basically do the impossible. Pretty inspirational when you think about it. I've always loved Batman and that's the main reason why. A human being among gods who found a way to be both useful and insanely relevant using his mind and addiction to bettering himself in all facets to make the world a better place for others. That's where I feel a connection to Batman in my music. I've never considered myself the best or most talented or the smartest, most skilled musician or lyricist. All I've ever done is try to maximize what I've been given through hard work. Not having everything is like to do what I want to do but always finding a way to get it done like a hybrid of Bruce Wayne and McGuyver. I never thought anyone would actually listen to my music when I started. I was just doing it because I really loved it. I could have been trash but I still would have kept it up because it made me feel good. Just had a love for it. I still don't consider myself the best necessarily. Don't take that the wrong way because I know for a fact I'm dope (and can't be persuaded otherwise) but I'm not the guy who thinks anything I've done is the best I've ever heard, I just do the most with what I've been given. Unfortunately over the past few years I'd fallen into this wave of depression that had me on the fence as to whether or not I wanted to continue in music resulting in an impromptu retirement of sorts. So for a while, I've only done like spot dates and things like that which led me to realizing that not creating and performing musically brings me further down to where I don't want to be. To be perfectly honest, the only times I have felt like my true self from 2014 to now is when I'm on stage or in the studio. No exaggeration. When I'm singing I don't feel worry, anxiety or depression at all. It feels like I shed them in those moments. The down side is that it's almost like they're waiting for me when I get done like an evil entourage or something. It's been a tough tough road as far as that goes but I'm finally ready to move forward and create and I'm thankful for it. There are things I won't talk about now but will most likely blog about later that have brought me to the edge of the line between sanity and insanity and the fact that I'm still here has to count for something. There has to be a reason. Escaping self hate and suicidal thoughts are probably my only recent accomplishments but in the pantheon of testimony, they matter probably more than I even think. So right from where I quit, I'm going to pick up the cape and cowl again. Regardless of any discouragement I feel/have felt, it's not just about me. Yes it is hard being dope in a world of sobriety (selah) but regardless of who doesn't recognize or won't hear, the ones that need to still need to. Batman would only commit to the Justice League part time acknowledging that the world needed him but he never wanted to forget about Gotham. The little guy. The things that kept him grounded was keeping his purpose right in front of his eyes. Batman wouldn't have been able to have been the best version of himself if he didn't keep that constant reminder of what he was doing it for in front of his eyes and hopefully this time around with a laser focus on purpose, I will be able to do the same.
Also (time for my cheap plug lol) if you'd like this tee or any of my other originals, you can email me at aabaymon@gmail.com. Also if you'd like to check out any of my music you can find it at softspokenprophet.bandcamp.com You can stream and download most of it for free and leave a donation if you feel like being nice lol also I have an older album on iTunes that's still pretty dope if you wanna check that out. Thanks in advance for your patronage and have a great day!
Comments