The way I was fighting to stay awake in church this morning maaaaaan!!! It wasn't due to boredom or anything like that. It's just me coming straight off the road, showering, getting dressed and going immediately there hit me today. To be fair though I usually will stop by the store to grab a coffee before I get there. I thought I was good today until I got there and sat down. I ended up doing what I make my kids do when they used to try and fall asleep in church. I just up and stayed standing lol. Once I stood, I was still tired but it was easier. Also my Grandmother preached this morning and it was a really good Word. She says what she wants and I love that. That's one thing I'm looking forward to later in life is having less and less filter. I'm not yet. I can't always trust myself to say things because it comes across a way I didn't mean it (I told y'all sarcasm was a gift and a curse) and I have to wind up explaining or breaking down something I shouldn't have had to and end up aggravated lol. I do it to myself sometimes smh (pause lol). I feel sort of overworked but also determined. Like tired but not drained. A lot I'm doing/working on but putting more effort into staying balanced. Some days it feels like I'm getting there and some days it feels like I'm failing but this art teacher I worked with years ago said something to me one time that I'll never forget. He said, "Mr Baymon, feelings aren't facts." That made me realize that how you feel should not dictate what you do. If I only did the things I felt like doing, not very much would ever get done. If I only did things when I felt like it I don't know that I'd ever accomplish anything because I feel like doing nothing a lot of the time lol. If I only thought of the way I felt and never tried to see things from other perspectives, I would constantly blame others for things and not consider the fact that I'm not always right and things are definitely not always what they seem. Valuable lesson for me and I've carried that with me ever since he said it. So I'm continuing to work, stay focused, do my best and control what I can control regardless of the way I feel or in spite of negative thoughts that may try to creep in.
Today's tee is special because of what it represents. It's an original but not my own. It was created by Billy Powell to go along with an album he created (look up his music on iTunes and similar streaming services). A couple years old but one of the best Christian albums I've ever listened to. Support my guy please and thank you. This tee acts as a symbol of those who uphold the integrity of Gospel music. A Bat signal, if you will, for every artist who holds true to the real reason we do what we do and continue to hold up the standard of souls over "success." Don't get it twisted, nobody worth their salt doesn't want to prosper especially in doing what they love but it isn't the number one goal. It doesn't mean more than reaching people. It doesn't mean enough to abandon the commission. Artistic integrity in this sense is staying true to more than just the music. It's holding up the purpose behind the music. Someone asked me a few years ago to give them a metaphor representation of where Gospel music is headed and I said that it was like Jesus driving away in a car waving as He got further down the street while the industry stayed behind... Do with that what you will but my point was it seemed/seems as if the focus in a lot of aspects is getting farther and farther from what it's supposed to be. We're supposed to be sharing the Gospel and serving. Sharing and serving. That's what Jesus did. Even as the King, He was always a servant. That's where I hope to always find myself. Never more concerned with making a dollar off you than about your soul (praying hands). No soapbox yo, I'm really just stating what I believe and what I hope to be able to always do.
Hope it's been a great weekend this far and that y'all can squeeze all the relaxation you possibly can out of these last few hours before the work week begins again. Also the aforementioned project can be found everywhere you stream music and you can follow @1churchmusic on IG to keep up with updates and new music featuring Billy Powell and 1 Church.
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